Monday, November 13, 2006

Missing My Friend, Looking Back at The Worst Day Ever

Our Blog today is more for my therapy than for entertainment so adjust your viewing/reading to reflect that. This has turned into one of the hardest blog entries to write, taking more than two weeks so far.

Recently we lost our 4 1/2 year old Chihuahua, Pee-Wee, to a heart defect he had all his life. Even though Pee Wee had lived with this health problem, his sudden passing has left our house with a deep sadness that has not been easy to overcome. For the first time in my life, my heart hurt, the sadness was so intense, and i think we cried for a week. Our little friend had lived with what the vets call a reverse shunt, a heart defect that maybe could have been helped if detected anytime in the first 4 years of his life. We are very quick to get all of our animals to the vet if they need any kind of medical attention, and we have had Pee Wee to many different vets in his life that had not seen anything like this shunt at all.

Pee Wee was our constant companion, traveling with us on all of our trips, occupying the little open space between the front seats that seemed to be made by Honda just for him. Our last trip with him was to Cambria, CA for the family reunion where he walked on the beach and barked at other dogs, an generally had a great time. Always ready to relax on your lap in the afternoon or share a bit of ice cream with you (vanilla was his favorite) Pee Wee more than any other dog I can remember was happy to be part of every move you made. One of my favorite things was the way he would lay down on your legs in the evening while we watched TV and got caught up on our days events at work. He would sleep so sound and occasionally look up at you before going back to sleep where no doubt he would dream of chasing the cat or eating dandelions.

Pee Wee went with Brenda to work (she was so lucky). He sat just a few inches from her keyboard and when he needed a drink of water or something he would very lightly touch her hand and she would get him just what he needed. I am sure the fact that she was him more than me, means she will miss him even more.

So now we are trying to come to grips with the fact that we will never hold him again or hear his little bark when we leave the room (his way of asking, why he was sitting there all alone). We are asking if the vet that saw Pee Wee on his last night really knew what was wrong with him, or if he was just doing a job and had to get things settled before the next round of emergency room dogs needed the space that Pee Wee was occupying.

Pee Wee was buried under the flowering plum tree where he will be able to enjoy the shade on hot Summer afternoons and where the dandelions will always be within reach. In his box we buried his favorite toys ... a old snake that he had for ever even though we had tried to replace it with a new one. We also left him with frog toy and one of his favorite yogurt drops. He looked forward to bedtime because he would get one of these yogurt drops and maybe be able to con Brenda or me into a second.

Thanksgiving and Christmas this year will be less than fun for us. It seems that decorating for Christmas just doesn't seem appropriate since we won't have Pee Wee around. I am sure that we will shed a few tears thinking of him as Christmas approaches and maybe take a moment to think of him healthy again, running in a field and maybe pausing once in a while to look to see if Brenda and I are there to pick him up.

We love you Pee Wee and think about you every day.

Don, Brenda and Rusty